In the future we'll all be gay
Swine flu. Run for my life!
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
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