First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
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How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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