I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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