have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
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our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
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My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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