Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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