Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
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Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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