oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
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