We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize