Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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