i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I wish I only lived at night.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
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I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
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There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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