peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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