You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize