She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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