I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize