Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize