so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize