Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
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