Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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