somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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