So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
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No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
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Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize