I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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