bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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