Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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