Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
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