Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
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You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
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Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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