the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
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you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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