if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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