I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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