we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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