I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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