Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She told me I should be a condom model.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
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