Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
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