using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize