I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize