Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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