Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
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