just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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