we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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