I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize