Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
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I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
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Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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