I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
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just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
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lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
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