have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
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I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
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Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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