I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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