Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
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He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
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I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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