worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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