Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
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