eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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