My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize