He kissed a someone with a penis
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
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When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
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my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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