I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
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He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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